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The Fleeting Moment that is life……RIP Mishka

“Human beings are all like a puff of breath, great and small are worthless, put them on the scale and they weigh nothing, they are lighter than a mere breath.”

Immediately after posting this morning’s blogpost, I signed into Facebook and was confronted with the news of the death of my HCHS school friend, Mishka. The news grabbed me at my core and the pit of my stomach fell into what felt like an abyss. It is too early to call anyone to vent or rant or share a moment, so I take to writing another post to empty my soul, unburden my heart and free my spirit so I can traverse my day.

I am reminded of my morning meditation yesterday, which was about the text I quote from Psalm 62:9. After reading the news, I grabbed for the Bible I read yesterday as I sat on the throne to do my morning reflection in the safety and quiet of my bathroom. I flipped through to yesterday’s reading, just a page away from today’s and marked by my make-shift book mark, (a remnant of my son, Raja’s 11th grade coursework, neatly folded and placed in this bible since 2013-a kind of protection of his academics I guess), to find the verse that immediately came to mind.

What is the true meaning of life? Of existences? if it is so fleeting. The scripture offers me no answers, but it sheds light on the time we have in this thing called Life, how short it is, how temporary and worthless our existence is, as compared to the vastness of the universe and it’s treasures and that which, or whom, designed it all. How important it is to seize moments in life to share love, a memory, a vision, a testimony, a life…to be kind, thoughtful, empathetic.

I am saddened by my own failure…..failure to seize the moments that arose, in which I could have shared a recent moment with her. I was serving in Jamaica, in remission from my bout with a rare disease; she was in Jamaica with her family for a respite to address her own health issues…..the moment seemed perfect, we had a common focal point from which to rekindle childish memories. She called, I called, we promised to meet…..we didn’t. My own relapse caused my sudden departure from that space, I didn’t get a chance to call, to report my departure and make alternate plans. I didn’t even call…… that thought hurts and haunts me today because she called me, I should have been more responsive, more empathetic, more committed, more…….

My own preoccupation with loss, heartache, facts of life, my own medical issue, caused my mind to drift from our promise to meet, of Mishka, selfishly to myself. I became self absorbed, insulated from life even. I am sorry. I stand accused of the same hypocrisy of which I write, where we miss the value of each other, and the benefit of our own testimonies to others and their stories, their travails.

I had planned to share my story of remission with Mishka to incite in her towards a more resilient spirit that would awaken a zest that would buy us more time, but I didn’t. I shared with mutual friends, Karen, Suzette, Jameela, Suzanne, that we should plan a reunion outing, visit Mishka as a group, have laughs, libations and share memories….it didn’t happen for me, and for my part, I am deeply sorry. Thankfully, Karen an others have been steadfast in their connections and I can only hope that they had the chance to execute what we planned.

The lesson in this pain is that we have to diligently practice what we preach. That despite the best intentions, it takes conscious decision-making to live the strength of our convictions and fulfill promises made to others whilst we ourselves are traversing the ebbs and flows of our own lives. True humanity, true love, requires this commitment I believe. My dad taught that there is no such thing as an emotional love…..Love is strictly and stoicly a decision made and recommitted to daily. Anything less is something, but it is not the all consuming, all encompassing verb, LOVE.

Mishka, your life, your zest for life, your passion, your fun-loving love of life is your legacy. My cup runneth over this morning at the news of your departure from this dimension that you shared with us. I take comfort in knowing that your blazing firecracker spirit will light spaces and ignite flames of passion wherever your destiny takes you, and in whatever forms you exist in the next and future dimensions. Love.

Published by: Local Lives, Global Voices

I, Chandra Young, ‘the moon that outshines the stars, was born in Kingston Jamaica to an Indian Father whose family migrated from India, and a mulatto mother, whose family, paternally and maternally, trace their history on the island to the 17th century sale of slaves, and slaves themselves. We migrated to the United States while I was a youngster. I later went on to graduate from The City College of New York, with a Bachelor’s degree in Political Science; then Yeshiva University’s Benjamin N. Cardozo School of Law, with a Jurisdoctor degree; and I am currently on hiatus from my doctoral studies in Law and Policy at Northeastern University. After graduating from law school, I successfully sat for both the Florida and New York Bars, and worked in both the Private and Public Sectors. Simultaneously, my role as mother and my passion for education pushed me into Academia, where I have lectured at colleges in the areas of Political Science, History, Business Law, Sociology, Pluralism and Diversity, Critical Thinking, Critical Academic Reading and English Composition. In these capacities, I have mentored inner city/urban college students, and have also served as Guardian Ad Litem to the Seminole County Courts, where I advocated on behalf of children of families in crisis. Being a scholar of Political Science in my collegiate years, I contributed my talents and passions towards championing of the rights of my fellow students, many of whom, like myself, were of Immigrant families. I was instrumental in a student movement that spearheaded a University-wide student boycott protesting tuition hikes in the City University system. The successful protest led to the shutdown of all the University’s colleges in every Borough, and got the attention of the media and politicians of the day. The result of the successful protest was a halt of any tuition increase for several fiscal terms. Today, the City University and State University systems are free to families earning less that $125,000.00, which include most urban, inner-city and immigrant students. While at City College, I was selected as a student ambassador contestant in the Ms. Jamaica-USA pageant, sponsored by the Jamaica Progressive League and the Honorable Una Clarke, the first Caribbean and Jamaican born woman to be elected to the legislature of the City of New York, and mother of United States Congresswoman Yvette Clark. A diligent advocate of affordable housing for New Yorkers, I was committed to the mission of realizing the American dream of home ownership for New Yorkers and I am the recipient of a Proclamation by the City Council of the City of New York, for my efforts in that regard. My dedication to the City of New York and immigrant communities, particularly those of Caribbean heritage, have been unwavering, and I was presented with the Marcus Garvey Award of Recognition by the New York based Jamaica National Movement, for service to Jamaicans and Caribbean people in the City of New York. I continued my passion of being a part of a mission to champion the rights of underprivileged and underrepresented persons in my recent milestone, the United States Peace Corps, where I dedicated 18 months of my life, away from home and family, to the people of Jamaica, as a Literacy Adviser and Community Developer. I am the mother of two children, a writer, blogger and poet. I always loved writing. As a child, I remember finding privacy and solace to write in my garage, where I could hide the written pages amongst the plethora of books our family stored there. I began blogging on my Facebook page and was encouraged by friends who enjoyed by posts, to start a blog. I officially started this blog during my Peace Corps Service, but it is certainly not limited to my service. In fact, it represents an amalgamation of thoughts expressed and lived through the direct and vicarious experiences that being a global citizen can provide. This blog is my way of building a bridge that connects our local lives experienced in our specific localities, with the global voices that unites us in the similar experiences, concerns, pains, passions, etc that joins us together as human beings in spite of geography. You there.......Me here. We....together in one world....one humanity.

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