What’s wrong…….? By Chandra Y.
What’s wrong with me?
I fell in love.
A process that has been my undoing,
A process that forced me to willingly live beneath the privilege of my birth.
What’s wrong with me?
I trusted in love to my detriment,
I Loved to my heartbreak,
I dreamed of love to my disappointment.
What’s wrong with me?
For Love, I dreamed for a beautiful life that wasn’t to be,
One with endless laughter and sunshine,
One with hopeful depths and sweet glorious highs.
What’s wrong with me?
The love in my heart, in my dreams, in my essence was not to be,
Though I couldn’t know it, for how could I?
Love has been to me unfulfilling, unreciprocated, impure, unjust.
A process of my undoing indeed, a process of failure, a process of disappointment.
What’s wrong with me?
I was busy about the business of love,
Thinking the best of someone, of others,
Smiling into the sunshine of my starry eyed belief
Of glorious tomorrows,
dreaming my destiny to be filled with endless days and nights,
filled with the love of my lover.
What’s wrong with me?
My reality was harshly anything close to my dream.
Filled with the pain of infidelity,
The heartbreak of unreciprocated love,
The lies of dishonesty,
The crushing unfolding of violated trust.
My lover was defiling, cruel and a thief of all the beauty of my love.
What’s wrong with me?
Love left me in the shambles of a brokenness undefined,
A heartbreak unimaginable,
A cruel nightmare that has been the process of my undoing.
What’s wrong with me? I loved.